


lang thine frim

by Dazziel (Setaeru)



Series: Object!Destiel [10]
Category: supurtatural
Genre: Other, altranut oonaverse, buttom dannie, carot pughing, cazz ztrungh, cazziel haz dep voz, cazziel iz zkurri, dommie cazz, doobiooz canzan, mayzik, mazturbating, nom caylin, noon canzanzul, origanol teegz, vegetible cazziel, vegetible orgaznizm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:51:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setaeru/pseuds/Dazziel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dannie whinezcheter getz ay lil to in to diner</p>
            </blockquote>





	lang thine frim

**Author's Note:**

> **Dubious Consent / Non-Consensual** I think... maybe...

Dean finished peeling the carrot and reached to grab another, freezing as his hand grabbed a particularly smooth, clean one. He hadn't washed them yet, planning on doing that after he'd peeled them all, but this one was soft and free of the dirt the others had. He stroked it slowly, biting his lip.

Dean looked around like someone was actually there with him in his apartment, when in reality, it was just him. He squeezed the carrot, trying to bend it slightly and failing. Dean felt his cum gun swell in his jeans, his mind eagerly showing him little images of the carrot buried deep in his pooter.

He gulped and stepped away from the trash bin, hand trembling with the carrot. No one would know, right? He looked around again and then scurried off to his bedroom, yanking his bottom nightstand drawer open and pulling out his bottle of lube. Dean dropped back onto the bed, setting the carrot carefully beside himself before shoving his pants down and opening the bottle of lube.

He squirted out a good amount, shifting and reaching down between his legs. Dean moaned as he teased his rim with his gel-coated finger, biting his lip and turning to look at the carrot. The tip would be brutal against his bundle of nerves. He shivered.

He closed his eyes and pushed his finger in, slowly working it in and out of his hole, clenching and unclenching around it multiple times. He shoved another finger inside of himself, too eager to wait for his body to adjust properly to the first. For some reason, Dean was desperate for the carrot to be inside of him. He needed to feel every inch of it buried in his ass, stretching him and filling him until he couldn't be filled anymore... and then some.

Dean yanked his fingers out of his booty and shifted to his knees on the bed, his face pressed into a pillow. Dean slicked up the carrot and pressed the tap root against his rim, pushing in slowly and moaning. The carrot stretched him quickly, his inner tushie burning a little from the way it slowly got bigger the closer he got to the stem. Dean whimpered at the unforgiving carrot within him; there was absolutely no give, he was forced to accommodate it, hole painfully stretched around the firm carrot.

"Fuck," he gasped, dropping his hand to the sheets and fisting them. He let himself have a few seconds to adjust, focusing on his breathing and trying not to think of his throbbing custard launcher and bum-bum. Dean yelped suddenly as the carrot pushed deeper inside of him. He quickly reached behind himself to grab it and pull it out but he couldn't get his fingers on the stem. He tried pushing it out and whimpered when he couldn't. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." What the hell did he do now?

The carrot suddenly twisted inside of him, grazing his prostate and making his thighs quiver. Dean's knees were yanked from under his body and he fell to the bed with a sharp inhale, his body forced into a star. He couldn't move his limbs, he could barely even wiggle around. "What the fuck is-"

"Shh," a voice whispered, deep and gravelly and  _hot_. "Keep your mouth shut and you'll get to come when I'm finished."

"What the fuck is- Who the hell are you? Where are you?" Dean cried out, his juicy bubble butt suddenly stinging sharply like someone had spanked him. He twisted his head forcefully, looking behind himself and seeing nothing but air. "Fuckin-" His head was forced onto the pillow, his nose buried in it, and another sharp smack landed on his ass. He couldn't form words, so he settled on grunting and growling as if it would help him communicate with whoever the fuck this was.

"So tight," the voice said, pleased. He whimpered and slumped on the bed, unable to move. The carrot pulled out of him, twisting and pushing back in; it slowly fucked in and out of him, probing his little gland each time it slid in.

He moaned and struggled to rock his hips back, trying and failing to rut against the sheets below his hips. The tap root of the carrot pressed hard into his fluid maker, forcing a sharp cry from his throat. It  _hurt_ and yet it felt  _divine_. Dean felt tears glaze his eyes, and buried his face further into the below, hands trembling.

"Naughty boy, wanting me," the voice said, moving inside of him in a tornado like motion, making circles inside of his ass and twisting. "Absolutely filthy." Something slapped his ass again, and he choked and moaned at the same time, toes curling. "Disgusting."

He sobbed, a tear slipping from his eyes and wetting the pillow. "Pl-" he realized he could speak. "Please-"

"Stop that," the voice said, dark and dangerous. "Say my name."

"W-what's-"

"Castiel."

"C-Cast-tiel," Dean moaned, rutting into the sheets because apparently he was suddenly allowed to.

"Good," the voice-- Castiel said, laughing deeply. "Slut."

"F-fuck," the carrot inside of him suddenly grew larger, stretching him painfully and  _pulsing_ inside of him. "Fuck, o'fuck," he shuddered with his whole body.

"Stretching so nicely around me. So good," Castiel moaned. "So fucking greedy for me, aren't you? You goddamn whore." Dean gasped, burrito aching beneath him, burning as he rut against the rough sheets.

"Please," he panted, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to move his body, failing terribly when he didn't move even half an inch. "J-just- le-lemme come-me."

"Sorry? I can't hear you."

"Come on," Dean groaned.

"Beg, you greedy bitch," Castiel snapped. The carrot ground its pointy end into his prostate, sending sparks of pain and pleasure through him.

"P-please, sir, please lemme come. Fuck me, fuck me good, but please- Can I come?" Dean bucked weakly into the sheets, golf balls throbbing and donger leaking out large droplets of precum.

"Such a good bitch," Castiel hummed. "Come."

Dean felt utter relief and did just that. Arching his back and pressing his forehead into the pillow harshly, neck tensing with the pressure, and he came; thick juice shooting out the tip of his soldier and wetting the bed and coating his stomach in the sticky substance.

The carrot pulsed inside of him and then Dean felt something shoot into his bun, thick and hot and weird. Dean whimpered and tried to push it out, shuddering at the weird feeling. The carrot stopped doing whatever inside of him after a good five minutes, then Dean could suddenly move his body.

Dean immediately flipped onto his back and reached between his legs, pushing with his inner tushie muscles and forcing the carrot out. He grabbed the stem and yanked, not even caring if he somehow damaged his hole. Dean pushed again, looking down between his legs and waiting for whatever the carrot had put inside of him to come out.

It didn't.

Dean swallowed but tried not to think about it, but it was weird as he stood up. He could feel it inside of him, thick and squishy and... just weird, okay? Dean threw the carrot out the first chance he got, hell, he threw all the carrots out, going so far as to take it down to the dumpster and toss it inside. When Dean returned to his apartment, the smooth carrot sat on the small island.

Dean gulped and tossed it into the garbage can, trembling with fear. He could still feel the carrot... juice? inside of his trunk, and he didn't know what to do. It hadn't been a dream, or a nightmare, it had been real. Maybe he could wash it out? He took a quick shower, scrubbing his body until it was red and digging his fingers into his pooper, struggling to even touch whatever was inside of him. His life fucking sucked.

Dean pointedly ignored everything about carrots, even anything orange, for the next week. But everyday he would find that specific carrot sitting on his island counter after he made sure to throw it out. Eventually, he gave up. He let the carrot sit on his little island, he let the carrot rest on the coffee table while he watched television, he even let the stupid carrot lay next to him in bed; he even woke up hugging the fucking thing once.

It was five painful - mostly because he was still filled with that stupid carrot juice that refused to go away no matter what he did - weeks later, after a lot of puking and weird butt discharge and bloating and headaches, that he found out he was pregnant.

He, Dean Winchester, a fully-functional man with no uterus or womb or other female parts, was pregnant according to fifteen perplexed doctors and over thirty different kinds of pregnancy tests.

He was a pregnant man... pregnant with stupid fucking human-carrot children.

How goddamn fucked up was that?

Very fucked up.

Extremely.

_Kill me._

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: Comment moderation doesn't wanna come off. So I'll just approve all the comments... Don't comment. ):
> 
> Congratulations, you made it past the title, tags and summary and even read part of/finished the story (sorry for any mistakes)! Pat yourself on the back. No. Seriously. Do it. I would have skipped over this so fast, it's not even funny.
> 
> **There are a lot of people you could blame for this fic but let's just blame the[March SPN Coldest Hits](http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/139476843265/march-rules-reblog-this-post-to-enter-your-fic) challenge. I'm so sorry...** ish.
> 
> **Title:** Long, Thin, Firm  
>  **Fandom:** Supernatural  
>  **Relationship:** Castiel/Dean Winchester  
>  **Characters:** Castiel, Dean Winchester  
>  **Summary:** Dean gets a little too into dinner.  
>  **Tags:** Alternate Universe, Masturbation, Vegetable Castiel, Vegetable Orgasm, Bottom Dean, Carrot Fucking, Castiel Is Scary, Castiel Has [A] Deep Voice, Dom Cas, Cas [Is] Strong, Dubious Consent, Non-Consensual, Name-Calling, Magic, Original Tags  
>  _Just in case you desperately wanted to know what they said and couldn't understand it._
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it but try to resist leaving a comment and kudo. Kthx. <3


End file.
